Fooling the Bladder Cops

Frequently Wanted Information on beating drug tests

Drug Testing FWI version 3.8 release - Last revised: 8/14/95
by Justin Gombos (


During a job interview, have you ever been asked to piss for your new employer? New applicants for many of the Fortune 500 corporations are now being forced to take a drug test. In fact, 15 million will be tested this year. Drug byproducts can be detected in urine, blood, hair, external residue, and even perspiration! Parents are spying on their children. If you don't want to be a victim of the drug war, this text will help you. If you are well known, this text may protect your reputation. I strongly recommended that drug users (pot smokers in particular) read this. Other drugs are covered as well, but marijuana is the main focus of the drug testing FWI.


1.1   Halflife of TetraHydroCannabinol
1.2   Detection times of several drugs
1.3   Positive (definition)
1.3.1 Second hand smoke and positives
1.4   Decreasing detection times

2.1   Enzyme Multiplied Immunoassay Technique
2.2   Gas Chromatography / Mass Spectrometry
2.3   Radio ImmunoAssay (aka Abuscreen)
2.4   Hair testing
2.5   Thin Layer Chromatography
2.6   DrugAlert
2.7   PharmChek

3.1   False positives
3.1.1 Ibuprofen
3.1.2 Cold remedies, pain relievers, hay fever remedies, & diet pills
3.1.3 Antibiotics
3.1.4 Melanin (dark skin)
3.2   True positives (legitimate)
3.2.1 Poppy seeds
3.2.2 Testosterone supplements


5.1      Dilution
5.1.1    Water
5.1.2    Creatinine level
5.1.3    Vitamin B
5.2      Diuretics
5.2.1    Ultimate Blend (c) (was Test Free)
5.2.2    Detoxify Carbo Clean (c)
5.2.3    Naturally Klean Herbal Tea (c)
5.2.4    Goldenseal
5.2.5    Certa or Certo
5.2.6    Vales Original Formula
5.2.7    Lasix
5.3      Vinegar
5.4      Dexatrim
5.5      Fiber
5.6      Vitamin lecithin
5.7      Giving a clean sample
5.8      Exercise
5.9      Beta-3 agonists

5.1   Goldenseal
5.2   Zinc sulfate
5.3   Aspirin
6.4   Niacin

7.1   Purifyit (c)
7.2   Klear (c)
7.3   Mary Jane's SuperClean 13 (c)
7.4   UrinAid (c)
7.5   Bleach
7.6   Water
7.7   Vinegar
7.8   Draino (c)
7.9   Goldenseal
7.10  Liquid soap
7.11  Hydrogen peroxide
7.12  Sodium nitrate
7.13  Table salt
7.14  Ammonia
7.15  Visine (c)
7.16  Lemon juice
7.17  Blood
7.18  WD40 (c)
7.19  Papain

8.1      Substitution methods
8.1.1    Concealed container
8.1.2    Injection
8.1.3    Catheterization
8.2      Where to get clean urine
8.2.1    Urine from a donor
8.2.2    Powdered urine  Making your own powdered urine
8.2.3    Dog urine





13.1    Contacting the author


15.1    Contributors & Works cited
15.2    For more information
15.2.1     Internet consultants
15.2.2     Drug testing mailing list
15.2.3     Sites


Drug tests detect drugs as well as metabolites. Metabolites are the byproducts of a substance after it has run through your system. To determine whether you will pass or not, it is important to know how much of the illicit metabolites are in your urine and how much is tested for. Graph 1.1 and table 1.2 will give you an approximation; however, it varies depending on a number of factors. Testing method and levels tested for are major factors.

1.1 Halflife of TetraHydraCannabinol: The halflife of THC concentration is 7 days. In other words, every 7 days, half the THC metabolites break down further. In graph 1.1, %THC means delta % THC metabolites in bloodstream. 21 - 28 days should be sufficient according to the graph. But given all the swaying variables that aren't accounted for, I wouldn't rely on the graph; this graph only gives a very rough approximation.

[GRAPH 1.1]

   100% *   (time 0 days, 100%)
%T  50%                    *  (7 days, 50%)
 H  40%
 C  30%
    20%                              *  (14 days, 25%)
    10%                                        *  (21 days, 12.5%)
							 *  (6.75%)
     0%                                                           * 3.375%   * 1.687%
	     0 days     7 days    14 days    21 days   28 days   35 days   42 days (TIME)
Note that the intoxication scale (y-axis) is given in percentage. You must determine how much you are taking the percentage of. It typically goes undetected 21-28 days, but it really truly varies.

1.2 Detection times of several drugs.

[TABLE 1.2]
Drug                   Approximate Detection Time in Urine using EMIT
Amphetamines     2-4 days
Barbituates      Short-Acting (i.g. secobarbital) 1 day.
	         Long-Acting (i.g. phenobarbital) 2-3 weeks.
Benzodiazepines  3-7 days
Cannabinoids     3-30 days
Cocaine          2-4 days
Codeine          2-5 days
Euphorics (LSD, XTC) 0 days (Not Detectable by EMIT.  Detectable by GC/MS,
but I don't know the time period.)
Methadone        3-5 days
Methaqualone     14 days
Opiates          2-4 days
Phencyclidine (PCP) 8-14 days
Phenobarbital    10-20 days
Propoxyphene     6 hours to 2 days
Note: Detection times vary depending on analytical method used, drug metabolism, patient's condition, fluid intake and method and frequency of ingestion. These are general guidelines only.

Try to call in sick on test day to delay one more day if possible; it will help.

Other factors determining degree of intoxication include metabolism, frequency of intake, fluid intake, amount of marijuana, potency of marijuana, and length of time you've been a user. The first chart assumes that you are a long-time regular user. If you use marijuana on rare occasions, your urine may be clean of metabolites in less than a week. There is a program that will plot a graph of time versus percentage of THC in your system given the days you've smoked. The program is called CALC_THC.EXE and can be found on the internet. (see 14.2.3)

1.3 Positive (defined): 50 nanograms of THC metabolites per milliliter usually defines a "positive." They originally tested for 20 ng/mL, but too many false positives resulted. So the level was raised to 100 ng/mL to reduce false positives. As of January 1995, the threshold was lowered back down to 50 ng/mL because drinking water would easily bring a positive below 100 ng.

1.3.1 Second hand smoke and positives: It is possible that second hand [marijuana] smoke will raise someone to the 50 ng/mL level; however, *extreme* exposure is required. For instance, a closed car full of pot smokers and a non-smoker may render the non-smoker positive for both urinalysis and the hair test, provided that they are sealed in the car for a while. The non-smoker would have to take in virtually as much second hand smoke as a smoker. Non-smokers are safe in a ventilated area, as long as they don't get a hair test. According to ZZYZX, simply blowing crack smoke on ones hair may cause a positive hair test. Second hand pot smoke doesn't affect the hair test results as much as crack smoke does mainly because exhaled smoke contains no THC. The only pot smoke that contains THC is the smoke that hasn't entered the lungs.

1.4 Decreasing detection times: Increasing metabolism is probably the most effective way to decrease the time period that drugs can be detected in your system. Physical activity can increase your metabolic rate as much as 2 thousand percent! Nothing beats proper training taken to an extreme. A high calorie diet is the next best way to increase metabolism. Consuming mass quantities of high calorie food will increase metabolic rate by up to 10 percent. On the contrary, a malnutritious light diet could lower your metabolism by 10 percent. Speed (the drug) will also increase metabolism. Unfortunately, labs usually test for speed, and could get you into trouble. So exercise with intensity, and eat big. Amphetamine users: see section 5.3.


There are four types of urine tests, a hair test, a perspiration test, and a residue test. Before continuing, I must say that this text mainly applies to urinalysis. However, I try to cover methods for beating all drug tests.

It would be helpful if people could somehow find out which test they are getting ahead of time. Though caution must be taken. Asking your boss whether you're getting an EMIT or GC/MS would imply that you know too much, or seem too curious. The law doesn't protect you from unjust hiring practices, and your boss to be may refuse you employment for any reason. If simply drinking a cup of water makes the boss feel uncomfortable, the verdict may be guilty before you even take the test.

2.1 Enzyme Multiplied Immunoassay Technique: The EMIT is the cheapest, easiest to perform, and most common; also the easiest to fail. It's the easiest to pass if you read this file. Most pre-employment screens will give you the EMIT first. (Though some businesses will surprise you with a GC/MS test first- discussed next). Unfortunately, there is no standard procedure to expect. (One who has read this file and is well informed may still fail because of the random nature of drug testing labs.) If you don't know which urinalysis will be administered, focus on beating the EMIT. If you pass the EMIT, you're off the hook. If you fail the EMIT, they'll give you the confirmation GC/MS test, which is extremely sensitive. Lewis Maltby, director of the Workplace Rights Office, said the EMIT test is wrong 25 to 30 percent of the time.

2.2 Gas Chromatography / Mass Spectrometry: The GC/MS is typically used when the EMIT test results are "positive". The GC/MS is difficult and more costly, which is why the EMIT is given first. Abstinence and substitution are the only ways to defeat the GC/MS test. GC/MS is very precise when done right. However, it's still subject to human error. For example, if the equipment isn't cleaned well, the previous test sample could get mixed with the next sample. According to Dr. Edward Cone, the GC/MS is 99 percent accurate - not very accurate on a large scale when you realize that 10 thousand out of every million will get false results. (more on accuracy in section 3).

2.3 Radio ImmunoAssay (aka AbuScreen): The RIA test is used in the military. The RIA test is applied the same way as the EMIT. "The only difference btw RIA and EMIT is that RIA uses radioactive iodine as the detection mechanism rather than an enzyme NAD/NADH rxn which is detected by a scnelation counter" (an anonymous toxicologist). The RIA test is a little more sensitive than the EMIT, and harder to beat. The EMIT is more common because RIA produces radioactive waste, and radioactive waste is difficult to deal with. The military uses RIA because its ties with Uncle Sam makes radioactive waste disposal easy. I was shocked to get a message from someone who had to take the RIA for a job. However unusual, the testing industry continues its random behavior.

2.4 Hair testing: When THC metabolites are in the blood, they go through the blood vessels in the head, and get filtered through the hair. THC metabolites remain in the hair as a permanent record. The hair test costs several hundred dollars and is rarely given because urinalysis is cheaper (approximately $65) and more accurate. (The hair test equipment goes for over a million). They cut 50 strands of hair from the scalp, and send it in to the testing lab where they liquefy it. Average hair grows 1/4 inch per month. Typically they just use hair one and a half inches from the scalp; though some labs will take enough to test for up to 3 years. The liquid is run through the most sensitive GC/MS machines available, and can detect as little as 1 ng/mL! The hair test discriminates in that detection is easier in dark hair. Psychemedics Corporation has a PDT90 kit for $75. This home test kit is for parents that want to chop off a lock of their child's hair to find out what drugs s/he is using. Kids- lock your bedroom doors at night if your parents don't trust your judgment on the drug issue.

Beating the hair test is extremely hard, and there are false positives. Bleaching or dying your hair is rumored to work, but it doesn't. I imagine you can shave every hair on your body and claim that you're a swimmer. According to NORML, Aloe Rid by Nexus is a shampoo that will aid in testing negative. Aloe Rid is available only in salons. Healthy Hair, from Sampson Health Products, is another shampoo designed to beat the hair test. Healthy Hair is sold in retail stores throughout Las Vegas. Healthy Hair is used 4-6 hours prior to the test. According to Steve at Sampson Health Products, two out of a thousand people failed the hair test when using Healthy Hair. (If anyone has any success with the shampoos or the swimmer excuse, please let me know).

Fortunately, the hair test cannot be used alone as evidence because there are no forensic standards. It can only be used when substantiated by other evidence. Also, there are no intoxication standards. I believe if you tested positive for the hair test that you would probably have a good chance of fighting it.

2.5 Thin Layer Chromatography: TLC "involves adding solvent to urine to extract drugs and then comparing color spots on a TLC plate to that of a standard" (Nightbyrd). Accuracy is very poor, and this test is rarely used. Fortunately, it's never used for confirmation.

2.6 DrugAlert: DrugAlert is a $19.95 home test kit enabling parents to test their children. This is the most inaccurate test being used, and it's also the newest. The test kit is a small brown pad giving off an Oxy pad odor. The [uninformed] parent wipes the child's clothes, books, and anything belonging to the child. Then the pad is sent to Barringer Technologies. The lab puts the pad in a microwave looking machine, which detects residue from seven different illicit drugs. The child fails the test if s/he uses drugs, or unknowingly comes in casual contact with a drug user. Simply borrowing a pencil from a classmate that uses drugs will pass enough residue to render a positive test and an angry parent. When we have statistics like - 90% of all paper currency shows traces of cocaine, this test kit is quite foolish.

2.7 PharmChek: A band-aid type patch is worn for a week or more to absorb perspiration. If illicit drugs are used during the time the sweat patch is worn, the patch will be positive when the lab tests it. The patch has a tamper-proof design - no thanks to 3M, who manufactures the patches. (Don't sweat it; we'll find a way to tamper with the silly patch :) PharmChem Laboratories Inc. created the patch, and got market approval from the FDA. The FDA permitted the patch for detecting cocaine, amphetamines, and opiates. They are working on getting FDA clearance to use the patch to test for marijuana and PCP. The FDA already gave permission to use it in the workplace. PharmChem will sell the patch to law enforcement and drug rehabilitation agencies in 1996.


Most of the people who tell me of their drug tests have had very different experiences; no test procedure seems to be usual and no pattern prevails. Accuracy is very poor. "A test of testers conducted by the government's Center for Disease Control in Atlanta found: '. . . the labs somehow detected cocaine in as many as 6%, and amphetamines in up to 37% of urine specimens that were 'blank' - those containing no drugs at all'" (Nightbyrd). "Conquering the Urine Tests" by Jeff Nightbyrd details several other major flaws in drug testing. ZZYZX says either this data is outdated, or a GC/MS confirmation wasn't done. If the GC/MS confirmation wasn't done, then our problems still stand. ZZYZX reports:

NIDA (The National Institute of Drug Abuse) is the government organization responsible for regulating the drug-testing industry. The vast majority of urine drug screens done these days conform to NIDA specs, and ALL testing associated with the government (Department of Transportation, etc.) complies with the NIDA standard. It is NIDA that decides what the "safe" cutoffs are to avoid false positives....Despite what you might hear on the net, urinalysis, if done correctly, is a very accurate scientific procedure. I know of no labs that simply report the results of the initial EMIT screening without confirming the sample on GC/MS. The fact is, labs WANT you to test negative, because then they only have to run an EMIT test on your urine (a few cents). If you test positive, they must then confirm the positive result on GC/MS, which is considerably more expensive. . . . Incidentally, the machine which tests the hair is a relative of the GC/MS, but is FAR more precise. It can accurately detect levels of THC in a solution that are below 1 ng/mL!

NIDA keeps it's labs in check by sending positive and negative double-blind samples. Lab personnel does not know what samples came from NIDA. If the lab results are wrong, NIDA may take away the labs certification. Only Federal jobs require NIDA standards. Your typical private employer may use any lab s/he chooses, which would most likely be the least expensive. Businesses don't always choose NIDA labs that follow-up a positive EMIT test with a GC/MS. ZZYZX insists that it's very rare for labs to bypass the GC/MS confirmation, and make a decision solely on EMIT results.

3.1 False positives: No laboratory process is completely free from error. The GC/MS test is virtually error free, but the EMIT is far from accurate. There are some false positives you should avoid if you're getting an EMIT test. Take this seriously; false positives run high. If you know that there will be a GC/MS confirmation test, you can disregard this section. It would be too lengthy to list all of the false positives here. Jeff Nightbyrd's "Conquering the Urine Tests" pamphlet lists a majority of the false positives in detail. (If you are clean, want to get back at the testing industry for conducting these absurd tests, and know that there will be a confirmation test, you could consume several false positives. This would force labs to pay for the high priced GC/MS test, eventually drive up test expenses. You will still pass the test.)

3.1.1 Ibuprofen: Ibuprofen is a common pain reliever that has caused false THC positives on the EMIT test. However, it takes very high doses of Ibuprofen to test positive. The GC/MS tests can distinguish between Ibuprofen and THC (as well as other over-the-counter drugs).

3.1.2 Cold remedies, pain relievers, hay fever remedies, & diet pills: Decongestants and diet pills result in false positives for amphetamine use in one third of the test samples given to 40 of the countries leading laboratories. There are roughly 300 over-the-counter drugs that cause false positives on the EMIT.

3.1.3 Antibiotics: Certain antibiotics will test positive for heroin or cocaine.

3.1.4 Melanin (dark skin): Melanin is the brown pigment that protects your skin from UV rays. Melanin's molecular structure is similar to that of a THC metabolite. It's natural for a person with darker skin to eliminate relatively more melanin in their urine.

3.2 True positives (legitimate): Some legal products actually contain small amounts of illegal chemicals. All tests, including the GC/MS, will test you positive because the metabolites derived from the true positive are identical to the metabolites of the illegal drugs.

3.2.1 Poppy seeds: Poppy seeds, usually on breads, contain traces of morphine, and lead to positives for opiates. According to Dr. Grow, eating a pastry filled with poppy seeds will bring results showing that you are a *high level* opiate user. However, there is conflicting data on this. Harold Crossley, a nationally known chemical dependency expert, said you would have to eat 100 poppy seed bagels to score a positive on a drug test. Avoid poppy seeds until reliable data is available.

3.2.2 Testosterone supplements: Orchic extract (found in bull's balls) will give a positive for anabolic steroid use. It is a legitimate substance that causes the test to imply that you abuse steroids.


There are commercial and household products that will help you pass the test. Some people are object to commercial products because they "are just trying to cash in on the War on Drugs." They also charge high prices and water alone tends to work for most. I put a (c) next to the commercial products developed specifically for the test so those of you that are against them will know what to skip. However, be aware that Texas outlawed products that create negative results on urine tests.


THC is fat soluble, and it gets stored in your fat cells. Cleaning it out of your lipid tissue is very difficult. Many herbal products claim to clean out your system, yet they do nothing to remove THC byproducts from fat cells. The only way to extract THC from fat cells is to exercise (5.8). Fat cells secrete fat with THC metabolites at a constant rate, regardless of what herbs you consume. You may be able to temporarily clean THC metabolites from your bloodstream, or dilute your fluids to yield a larger urine/THC ratio, but your bloodstream will continue collecting THC metabolites from fat.

5.1 Dilution: Hyper saturating your body with fluids will dilute metabolites possibly below the 50 ng/mL threshold, depending on your metabolism. Be aware that creatinine levels are often tested, and will show that the sample has been diluted. Diluting your sample will also produce clear urine, with virtually no yellow color. They will assume that you've diluted your sample, and they may reject your sample on the basis of color alone.

5.1.1 Water: Drink at least eight hefty glasses of fluid (preferably water) every day prior to the test and on the test day. Drink 2 quarts a few hours before the test. Do not over do it. You can get water intoxication. People can actually overdose and even die from water intoxication. It's very hard to do, and you'll vomit before anything gets serious.

5.1.2 Creatinine level: Eating red meat will boost creatinine levels. If you eat a lot of red meat for the 3 days prior to the test, your creatinine level will be normal, and the lab won't know that you've diluted your urine sample.

5.1.3 Vitamin B: Color your sample yellow by taking 50 to 100 milligrams of vitamin B. Many vitamins will work, but B-2 or B-12 (found in B-complex vitamins) are the most effective. This will also help if you plan to dope your sample (section 7). This does not guarantee that dilution will work. Diluted samples have been red-flagged when specific gravity and creatinine levels are tested and below normal.

5.2 Diuretics: Diuretics make people urinate frequently. Coffee, cranberry juice, beer, iced tea, herbal tea, and Pepsi are all good diuretics. Grapes are known to be very good diuretics. Diuretics without caffeine or alcohol are recommended because caffeine and alcohol have negative side effects. Cranberry juice is also the cheapest. Avoid salts. Herbal diuretics do better than home remedies like juices.

5.2.1 Ultimate Blend (c): This product used to be known as Test Free, but the name was changed. Ultimate Blend is a diuretic designed for the test, but works no better than other diuretics. Ultimate Blend is sold by Zydot Unlimited Inc.

5.2.2 Detoxify Carbo Clean (c): This is a very new product. According to Nightbyrd, Detoxify doesn't absorb toxins as claimed. It's simply a diuretic, and no more effective than Pepsi. Bear in mind that Byrd Labs is in competition with Party Hut Enterprizes, and I haven't been able to get a third party opinion yet. In my previous releases, Detox was listed as a drug screen (section 6); however, experts say that drug screens don't exist. Here is a copy of the ad from Party Hut Enterprizes:

[Detox] Is a scientifically formulated carbohydrate blend that works by absorbing toxins and imuurities[sic]. It has been featured in 'High Times,' and we are so confident of the results that we are offering a double-your-money-back guarantee for any failed results. This is the most complete program for the cleanest results! Precleanse (tm) herbal capsules are enclosed in every box of Carbo Clean. This extra advantage helps you begin cleansing the evening before the deadline. B-Complex tablets complete the program.

5.2.3 Naturally Klean Herbal Tea (c): Naturally Klean claims to clear any drug metabolites for a few hours after taking. Drink this shortly before the test. Naturally Klean was also listed as a drug screen in previous versions, but according to Nightbyrd, "it will do NOTHING to help you pass a urine test;" with the exception that it will dilute your urine. You can get Naturally Klean from Martha Butterfield-Jay Foundation: one sample is $25. An anonymous user provided the ingredients list: dandelion root, burdock root, red clover top, chamomile flower, alfalfa leaf, licorice root, slippery elm inner bark, hibiscus flower, dog rose hips, natural fruit flavors. Dandelion root is said to be the effective diuretic.

5.2.4 Goldenseal: Goldenseal is a plant and you can get either the root or the leaves in pill form. It's also a liquid or tea. The liquid is rumored to absorb slower than the capsules. Goldenseal is a diuretic, but works no better than other diuretics.

5.2.5 Certa or Certo: Certa "has something to do with canning. Some people swear by it. Trouble is, it's always somebody else, a third party not present during the conversation, who uses it" (Pearson).

5.2.6 Vales Original Formula: Another herbal remedy like Goldenseal. It does nothing. The water you must take with it does everything Vales claims to do.

5.2.7 Lasix: Take an 80 milligram dose of prescription diuretic lasix (furosemide). Prescription diuretics are the most potent. Some OTC diuretics will color your urine blue and should be avoided.

WARNING! Diuretics can be harmful to people with kidney problems, pregnant women, and diabetics.

5.3 Vinegar: There is a myth that vinegar will mask drugs; it won't. However, vinegar lowers the pH of urine. Amphetamines are excreted up to 3 times as fast when urine is acidified. So vinegar could reduce the detection time period for amphetamines.

5.4 Dexatrim: There is a myth that taking phenylpropanolamine (Dexatrim's active ingredient) will work. It won't. In fact, Dexatrim is a false positive, and may work against you.

5.5 Fiber: "THC is eliminated primarily in the stool via bile acids. Both EMIT and RIA detect a secondary metabolite which is reabsorbed from the intestines. Thus a person with a high fiber diet will excrete a majority of THC [metabolites] in the stool" (anon. toxicologist F1).

5.6 Vitamin lecithin: A recent method that's still under development is to take vitamin lecithin. This vitamin breaks down your stored fat and disperses it into your blood stream, to help clean out drugs that store themselves in lipid tissue, such as THC. NORML recommends taking Lecithin right up to the day of the test. To me it sounds as though this would work against you because by putting THC back in your blood stream, you are increasing metabolites in the urine. Someone has suggested that you take vitamin lecithin on a regular basis to clean lipids of THC metabolites. Then quit before the test, which seems to make more sense. It MAY be useless to take lecithin supplements orally. I've been told that the digestive system breaks it down too much before entering the blood stream. Most aren't willing to take vitamins intravenously. (If you do decide to take lecithin, you might as well take B5 with it. B5 aids in the process of turning lecithin into acetylcholine.)

5.7 Give a clean sample: Don't give urine from your first urination of the day. It's the dirtiest, and can be heavily filled with metabolites. Urinate a couple of times before giving a test sample. Also, don't give the beginning or end of the stream. Piss in the toilet, then quickly stop and go in the cup. Stop, and shift back to the toilet for the last portion. Just be sure to give 60 cc's.

5.8 Exercise: Athletes have a big advantage over normal civilians. When athletes burn fat, THC byproducts are released into the blood. This is the only way to get THC metabolites out of lipid tissue. "Normal living will burn them slowly, as your fat reserves get turned over" (Dr. Grow). Due to an athlete's high metabolic rate, THC moves through an athlete's system significantly faster. Exercising between drug tests will clean THC metabolites from the system at a faster rate, thus lowering the detection period. It is important to stop burning fat cells near test time. On test day, it doesn't matter what's in your lipid tissue. What's in your blood and urine does matter. Exercise increases the amount of THC metabolites in the urine; so quit exercising two days before the test. Be lazy, and eat big. There are drugs that will increase metabolism the way exercise does, but these are the same drugs that they are testing for.

5.9 Beta-3 agonists: Beta-3 agonists are drugs that stimulate the beta-3 andrenergic receptors on brown fat cells. The beta-3 andrenergic receptor is located on the surface of fat cells, and controls the amount of fat the cell releases into the bloodstream. When brown fat is stimulated, white fat is burned (converted into heat). Many people have mutant beta-3 andrenergic receptors, causing calories to be burned too slowly. These people will benefit most from beta-3 agonist drugs. If the drug works as claimed, I believe it would reduce the detection time of fat soluble drugs by continually excreting metabolites into the bloodstream at a faster pace. As with vitamin lecithin and exercise, you would take beta-3 agonists between tests, and quit a couple days prior to the test. Beta-3 agonists have been in the development phase for the past 13 years. One firm is already testing a beta-3 drug in early clinical trials. It's not on the market yet.


Some chemicals taken orally supposedly will mask traces of drugs in urine. Advertisers like to present their diuretic as a masking agent to make the sale. Consequently, diuretics are often mistaken for drug screens. Most herbal products claim to do a lot more than they actually do. Don't be fooled by herbal potions that claim to flush or absorb toxins.

6.1 Goldenseal: Goldenseal has shown to work on occasion. However, some labs are reportedly testing for Goldenseal. Goldenseal is very unreliable, and California NORML says that it should not be used. Goldenseal (as a screen) only works on the TLC test, which is not used anymore.

6.2 Zinc sulfate: Zinc sulfate is claimed to bond with THC metabolites, and because it's a solid, it gets passed as stool rather than urine. Jeff Nightbyrd says it does nothing. Anne Watters Pearson said "zinc sulfate is no miracle drug for pissing. Forget it."

6.3 Aspirin: According to Jeff Nightbyrd, there is testing industry data that taking 4 aspirins a few hours prior to the test might help you. ". . . aspirin interferes with the Syvia [sic] EMIT assay. It seems that aspirin absorbs at the same wavelength that NAD does which is how it interferes with the assay" (Clin Chem 34 (90) 602-606).

6.4 Niacin: Niacin has been shown to work on occasion. Byrd Labs tests conclude that niacin doesn't work at all. In other words, something else probably caused a negative, not the niacin.


"Doping" samples consists of spiking the sample with different chemicals. Chemicals that defeat immunoglobulin/antigen binding will cause a false negative on the EMIT. Most of these additives only work on the standard EMIT test, not on RIA or GC/MS tests. I should also add that you may be watched, so don't rely on this method. You should be able to find out ahead of time if you will be supervised. Some of the following additives alter the urine's pH, and most labs now test the pH to see if the sample has been adulterated. If you are subject to random tests, you may want to carry an additive in your wallet.

7.1 Purifyit (c): No data available on this yet; however, I've included the ad from Charles Alvis: For unsupervised tests we [Party Hut Enterprises] recommend a product called Purifyit. This product is imported from Europe. Inclosed [sic] in the package is two vials containing a clear liquid purifying agent. There is only one vial needed for each test. The liquid is clear, odorless, and can not be detected by the urine test. Just pour one vial into the sample and you are done. It is that simple. Even though I have never had anyone return the product back there is a Money Back Guarantee if the product does not work.

7.2 Klear (c): Klear is a powdered additive. Jeff Nightbyrd currently endorses Klear, saying that it is the most advanced and least detectable. Two samples of Klear can be purchased from Martha Butterfield-Jay Foundation for $30. You can also get Klear direct from Klear (the organization).

7.3 Mary Jane's SuperClean 13 (c): Mary Jane's SuperClean 13 is the latest in purification additives. SuperClean is effective. It had to be strong enough to beat the tests, but weak enough to be undetectable. It failed to cause a false-negative in 3% of the tests. Two samples of SuperClean can be purchased from Martha Butterfield-Jay Foundation for $30.

7.4 UrinAid (c): UrinAid is very potent and works every time for masking pot, but not cocaine or heroin. UrinAid, produced by Byrd Labs, can be ordered from Martha Butterfield-Jay Foundation. UrinAid does not work on the RIA test. Two samples of UrinAid is $25, and ten is $100. They'll Fed-Ex it next day for an extra $10. They have recently developed a test solely to detect UrinAid. UrinAid is tested for in 5% of the labs, and Texas has outlawed UrinAid.

7.5 Bleach (powdered): Chlorinated bleach will test negative, and it's the best household additive. In an emergency, Jeff Nightbyrd recommends adding unscented powdered bleach to a diluted sample. It's recommended to grind the powdered bleach to a finer grain. 1/2 teaspoon is recommended for a 60cc sample. For liquid bleach, add six to ten drops. Bleach will throw the pH outside the normal body range; so it may be apparent that the sample was tampered with. Some bleaches foam or leave residue, so experiment with different brands.

7.6 Water: You can dilute your sample heavily with water. Be sure to use water between 91 and 97 degrees, they may take the temperature of the sample.

7.7 Vinegar: Vinegar will test negative, but also alters the pH.

7.8 Draino: Draino will also test negative. Draino is NOT recommended because it doesn't work well even when half a teaspoon is added. It also colors the sample blue, will put the pH outside the normal body range. Draino foams, and leaves metal specs that must be removed.

7.9 Goldenseal: A myth. Goldenseal put directly in the sample doesn't alter test results. It only turns the specimen brown. Do not dope your urine with Goldenseal.

7.10 Liquid soap: Will test negative, but makes the specimen cloudy. This crude method is not recommended.

7.11 Hydrogen peroxide: Industrial grade will destroy half the THC metabolites. Household strength hydrogen peroxide does nothing.

7.12 Sodium nitrate: This is more effective than table salt (below), but dissolves poorly.

7.13 Table salt: Two tablespoons of salt will test negative, but puts the density out of normal range. This is another crude method that is not recommended. Residue can also be seen at the bottom of the cup.

7.14 Ammonia: 2 ounces will render the sample negative. The pH is altered, and the ammonia odor is strong enough to be recognized.

7.15 Visine: This is debatable. Byrd Labs concluded that Visine does not work. ZZYZX said that the lab he worked in tested Visine, and concluded that Visine works every time as a false negative for the EMIT. It can be detected due to inability of the sample to foam.

7.16 Lemon juice: Lemon juice is a myth; it will not change the test results.

7.17 Blood: It's been said that a few drops of blood will fix your sample; it doesn't.

7.18 WD40: Another myth.

7.19 Papain: This is a papaya enzyme available over the counter. It isn't known whether this does anything. Dr. Grow said that Papain is an antibody to THC, and in theory may destroy THC when added to the urine sample. However, positive urine doesn't actually contain THC; it contains THC byproducts.


This method works for every urine test, every time. You simply give them clean urine (not yours). This works very well if you're not supervised. If you are going to be supervised, try to talk them out of it. Someone told me they were going to be monitored, and they said "I don't want you to fuckin' watch me piss!" So the supervisor waited outside; probably with his/her ear to the door to listen for opening containers. Abbie Hoffman, author of "Stealing This Urine Test," suggested leaving a few drops of urine on the seat or on your shoe for as "an added measure of authenticity."

8.1 Substitution methods: There are three methods, but two of them are painful, and you have to be determined to use them. The most common way to sneak in urine is in a concealed container.

8.1.1 Concealed container: Simply conceal the urine. The first time you're alone with the container they give you, dump in your concealed urine. Be sure you can quietly open the container; the lab personnel may be just outside the door listening. You may be required to change into a gown. If so, a condom or douche bag holding the sample and taped around the thigh can be concealed under the gown. You can also run a plastic line from a flexible container and tape it to your urination equipment (to be gender neutral), and even piss under supervision. Females have been known to keep a condom with the urine sample in the vagina, and prick it to piss under supervision. Be sure to keep the sample between 91 and 97 degrees.

8.1.2 Injection: There's a way to use substitution even when you're under the strictest supervision. Athletes trying to pass tests for anabolic steroids have been known to empty their bladders, and have the substituted urine injected directly into their bladders via needle. It was shown in a motion picture like "Wildcats" or something. While theoretically possible, it's painful and subject to infection. (Kids - don't try this at home : ).

8.1.3 Catheterization: First void your bladder as you would with injection. Run a thin plastic tube to the bladder. (Males must insert the tube into the opening of the penis, go through the urethra and into the bladder.) Then inject the clean urine into the bladder via catheter. Catheterization is less painful, safer, and more effective.

8.2 Where to get clean urine.

8.2.1 Urine from a donor: You can substitute someone else's urine. Gender and approximate age of the sample can be detected, so take care when choosing a urine donor. Ask your urine donor (hopefully a friend you can trust) what drugs they've taken in the last month. They may have taken a false positive (or a true positive for that matter), and before the test, the examiner should ask you to list everything you've taken.

8.2.2 Powdered urine: If you don't trust your friend's sample, you can get powdered urine from Martha Butterfield-Jay Foundation. It's produced by Byrd Labs, and supposedly works perfectly; however, I got MBJF's powdered urine, and it did not specify the age or gender of the original sample. Powdered urine must be prepared ahead of time. If there is a period of time that you are clean, you can make powdered urine from your own supply. Making your own powdered urine: Urinate in a glass container. Let it evaporate. Then scrape the inside for the concentrate. Just mix it with water before the test, and the sample will have the correct specific gravity, pH, color, etc.

8.2.3 Dog urine: I heard from Dr. Grow that dog urine (of all things) can be substituted, and will pass the test! However, I don't know how an age, gender, pH, or creatinine test would result. Someone was able to use dog urine for several months to pass the test. This subsection assumes you have a clean dog (I know my dog's urine wouldn't pass; he eats more weed than humans do : )


Speaking of stealing, people have been known to get away with stealing their sample from the tray among many other urine samples. In the case that I heard, the person being tested never got the test results, and was hired for the job that he was tested for. They wouldn't dare ask someone to re-test because they "lost" his/her urine sample. Don't expect this method to work if you're being tested for the military or if you're on parole; they have no problem violating your rights repeatedly.


If you fail the test, raise hell. Failing the drug test has been known to make a quiet person go ballistic. You will be interviewed by a medical review official (MRO), who would try to find out why you tested positive. "Conquering the Urine Tests" provides additional legal advice that will help you before taking a test, and if you fail a test. Laura Gibson, a medical doctor on the internet, tested positive and was not hired. She had a poppy seed bagel that morning, not knowing it was a false positive. She fought it to the point where they just decided to throw out the results and hire her anyway. But don't go taking it to court; it's virtually impossible to win this case.

If you're an adult, contact ACLU. If you're a child, don't bother; ACLU won't do anything for children who fail the drug test. Then mail me at ( and tell me what you tried so I can use that to help others. Many people ask for advice before the test, then don't report back.

There is a way to fight drug testing. If you ever serve as a juror for a case where someone is being charged for a drug offense, and a drug test is used as evidence, be aware of jury nullification. If sufficient evidence is submitted supporting a law you consider unjust, you have a RIGHT to vote not-guilty, simply because you disagree with the law. You may agree with the law, yet disagree with the punishment for that particular crime. If you feel the punishment will be too harsh, you also have the right to vote not-guilty. Vote your conscience. The court never tells the jurors of this [hidden] right, but it's there. The Fully Informed Jury Association is a good source for this information.

Many employers no longer show lab results to employees. They just get rejected if seeking employment. Elderly employees are getting fired for failing the test; incidentally losing all of their pension benefits.


There is a Usenet 'Just-Say-No-To-Piss-Tests Project' keeping an updated list of companies that either invade or respect your privacy. If you have first person experience with a company, report it to ( They will provide bad publicity for companies that test by adding it to the list. If you report a company for not testing you, they'll add it to the good list (companies that respect your privacy). (See 14.2.3)

12. POLITICS AND ETHICS OF DRUG TESTING (I'll keep this brief, this is not a position paper)

I believe drug testing is an unreasonable search, and that it forces people to incriminate themselves. Many who take the same position believe drug testing violates the 4th and 5th amendments. The counter argument is that the Constitution doesn't apply to private organizations. It comes down to these values. An employer's right to know who s/he is hiring stands in conflict with an individual's right to privacy. I wrote this paper because I value the right to privacy more. I also believe people SHOULD have the right to consume any substance they want [without limits] given that they are knowledgeable about that chemical. Employers, like anyone, have been effected by the Reefer Madness movement. The government pushed massive amounts of misinformation throughout communities and schools, and I don't believe that employers are well informed enough yet to dictate what drugs will harm the workplace. The only effective way to select workers is to evaluate their performance on the job. Drugs can actually improve performance. Aspirin relieves pain, allowing a worker to continue. Marijuana (when consumed on the job) makes repetitive factory oriented work more interesting, which lengthens a workers attention span. Marijuana will actually make some people more alert. After intensive testing, someone I know can solve the Rubix Cube 20 seconds faster when stoned (not scientific proof, yet interesting). Stimulants will keep workers productive at the end of long work days. If the negative effects of drug use begin to show in the worker's performance, their employer has a number of options for dealing with it. Phil Smith summarizes an article in the March 1990 Scientific American:

"[The article] suggested that workers who tested positive for marijuana only: 1) cost less in health insurance benefits; 2) had a higher than average rate of promotion; 3) exhibited less absenteeism; and 4) were fired for cause less often than workers who did not test positive. Since marijuana is the most common illicit drug used by adults, and the one detected in up to 90 percent of all 'positive' drug tests (half of which are false), this fact has radical implications for current public and employer policies."

I could hardly believe what I was reading, but this article did carry sufficient statistical evidence. I see greater negative effects in drug testing than in drug use. In my opinion, drug testing is un-American because guilt is assumed until the test proves innocence. Our current conservative totalitarian Congress is extremely irresponsible, and the peoples civil liberties are suffering. This particular privacy violation costs businesses $1.2 billion a year for urinalysis of their workers. The military is notorious for their strict drug tests. (note that marijuana helped soldiers in times of war). If you test positive in California, your driver's license is automatically suspended for 6 months. Nightbyrd has "counseled several, very straight, elderly workers - close to retirement - who were fired and lost their pension benefits because they 'failed their drug test' " (Jeff Nightbyrd). Bernard Williams of the Philadelphia Eagles failed the drug test for marijuana. He was suspended from the NFL for six games for using a drug that doesn't enhance performance. If anything, marijuana would detract from an athletes performance. Let the coach judge Williams' performance.

Now it's becoming popular for parents to drug test their children. Perfect; let's break up the families; cut down those lines of communication and sneak around spying on our kids. Let's violate the child's privacy. We use DARE like the Salem witch hunts - to get children to turn their parents. Now with DrugAlert, parents have a weapon to use on their kids.

The U.S. Supreme Court just ruled in June 1995 that public high schools can require drug test for all student athletes. Many high schools already do random searches on students; not for weapons, but for drugs. After all, the Constitution has failed to protect children in the classroom, why not expand? Students have lost 1st, 4th, and 5th amendment rights, and I think it's absurd. We have patriotic history teachers telling children of their Constitutional rights, yet children aren't given these rights on campus. Kids get kicked out of school for questioning rules that violate the Constitution. We are sacrificing too many important rights by allowing drug testing to continue. Until this unjust drug testing frenzy is put to an end, children, workers, and parolee's need to learn how to protect themselves from the piss test.


I have no medical or legal credentials. I haven't even been drug tested myself. I use the internet to research drug testing, and compile this paper from that information. I've talked to several knowledgeable people who either drug test, or get drug tested. I'm an activist against the War on [Some] Drugs, and I think that the government has taken the drug war to a ludicrous level. Laws created by the legislature to protect me from myself demonstrate how totalitarian this country has become. Incidentally, I've taken an interest in methods for 'beating the system'; although I would only implement methods for beating an unjust system (such as drug testing). I may find out how to beat the breathalyzer test (and publish it), yet I remain strongly opposed to DUI. That goes into my belief in freedom of information. The government bans lots of information that should be publicly accessible.

13.1 Contacting the author: Please e-mail questions/answers/comments/ corrections/suggestions to me. I probably won't be able to answer questions that the FWI doesn't answer, but I can direct them to a more knowledgeable source. I use PGP 2.6.2 encryption, and my public key can be found on any of the key servers under keyID 4002051D. Here is my key:

Version: 2.6.2

fvJCWk4myW66QAIFHQAFEbQdV2lsZFRoaW5nIDxoYmNzYzA5NkBjc3VuLmVkdT4= =Wvex

I encourage everyone to use encryption, Uncle Sam is watching! I also encourage everyone to use anonymous accounts, like If you don't have an anonymous account, I promise to keep your identity confidential. I wouldn't even disclose my sources to a badge. E-mail to get an anonymous account. I will assume everyone wants to be anonymous, so I default to not publishing your name or address in the credits. If you provide me with information and want to be cited in the sources, tell me explicitly. Many of my readers are experts in the field. If you want to be available for consulting directly to the public, let me know and I'll add your address to the sources. I dedicated lots of time to continually update this file, so donations are appreciated.

Justin Gombos
E-mail: (
Snail-Mail: PO Box 10766, Canoga Park CA, 91309-1766

[1] anonymous toxicologist: made reference to Clin Pharmacol Ther 38 (85) 572-578 and Pharmacol Rev 38 (86) 151-178.


15.1 Contributors & Works Cited: Most of my information came free from the net, and much of the net info. came from Jeff Nightbyrd. Most of the rest came from either users who want me to keep them anonymous, or these users with anonymous accounts: Racer X (an106294), an162277, an172304, Dr. Grow (an236215) all can be e-mailed Dr. Grow studies molecular biology. ZZYZX is another major contributor. ZZYZX has worked as a lab assistant in two drug testing lab's, and has other family members in the field. These two Web pages provided some text that helped me get started: (, ( Thanks to everyone who contributed! Special thanks to ZZYZX, Dr.Grow, and Phil Smith, who recently worked hard on this project. Jeff Nightbyrd (founder of Byrd Labs): wrote the "Conquering the Urine Tests" pamphlet. His 10th edition was updated in 1995 and is out via snail-mail for $5. I recommend buying the pamphlet; it provides some more elaborate information, and includes statistics and stories. Nightbyrd has worked several years on protecting workers civil rights, and a majority of my information comes from all the free consulting he has provided (he's practically a coauthor). If anyone has a related law suit underway, Mr. Nightbyrd has one of the most extensive libraries of materials in the country. E-mail (; Voice 800/480-2468; FAX 512/478-7706.

Anne Watters Pearson (founder of Martha Butterfield-Jay Foundation): devoted to counseling and coaching people faced with piss testing.

15.2 For more information:

American Civil Liberties Union: (212) 944-9800

Byrd Labs: Jeff Nightbyrd's creation. Byrd labs has run more than 2,000 tests on urine and additives. Whenever there is conflicting data, I tend to side with Byrd Labs. (800) 333-2152

California NORML: 415/563-5858; e-mail

CAPP: Hi tech workers rights organization. (512) 448-4804

Conquering the Urine Tests: see Jeff Nightbyrd (14.1)

Digit Press (GA) Info Line: (404) 924-1393

Drug Testing Hotline in California: (900) 844-TEST

Fully Informed Jury Association: for free Jury Power Information Kit, call 800/TEL-JURY. FIJA national: PO Box 59, Helmville, MT 59843. (406) 793-5550 Mr. Peyman (FIJA affiliate) (714) 838-2896.

Hoffman, Abbie. STEAL THIS URINE TEST (I haven't read it myself yet, but I've listed is as a source for finding more information).

Klear: 40 Fourth Street #216, Petaluma, CA 94952 (800) 661-1357

Legal Action Center: 212/243-1313

Martha Butterfield-Jay Foundation (Oklahoma NORML): MBJF sent me free literature, and a brochure on 4 of their products. If you call, a machine will answer. Calls will be returned collect. P.O. Box 57214, Oklahoma City, OK 73157 (405) 521-URIN

National Lawyers Guild: (212) 614-6464

NORML: NORML operates a Drug Testing & Information Hotline. The charge is $2.95 per minute. (900) 97-NORML. 1636 'R' St. N.W., 3rd Floor, Washington D.C. 20009

NORML Legal Referral: (202) 483-5500

Party Hut Enterprises: Carbo Clean and Purifyit are $30 each. The purchaser pays COD and shipping. They do accept pre-paid orders. If you would like to have more information about this product or a catalog of the 100's of other products that they carry just e-mail Charles Alvis: or

Performance Factors: Makes video imparment test. (415) 769-8300

PharmChem Laborities Inc.: Boycott PharmChem for supplying the sweat patch. Jay Whitney or David Asheim can be harassed at (415) 328-6200

Sampson Health Products: Steve or Keith can be reached at (512) 451-3989

Scientific American, "Science and the Citizen," March 1990. pp.18 & 22

Spy Supply, Inc.: This company sells home drug test kits for THC and COC that can be used before the "official" test. The kits cost $15 each. 1212 Boylston St 120, Chestnut Hill, MA 02167 (617) 327-7272

Testing Expert Witness: Good for legal cases. (615) 579-5425

Zydot Unlimited, Inc.: (800) 725-2481

15.2.1 Internet consultants: If you want to be listed here as a free consultant, let me know. Me: I'll make an effort to answer questions. If I can't answer something, I'm in contact with toxicologists and other experts who choose to remain anonymous. I will direct questions to them. Jeff Nightbyrd: Consult Nightbyrd with any drug testing question. Legal issues are his specialty.

15.2.2 Drug testing mailing list: This list doesn't work, but you would e-mail ( with "subscribe urine-test Firstname Lastname" as the body. No one ever posts. When I attempt to post to (, it returns an error. The list operator ( doesn't respond to e-mail. Will someone please start a functional drug testing mailing list?

15.2.3 Sites: A list of ftp and web sites relating to drug testing. Drug testing: My latest version can be found on any of the following sites; along with other drug test files:


I'm taking the Phillip Zimmerman approach. Our rights are in the line of fire, and I think everyone should have free access to this information. I want it to become widespread before the government has a chance to react. Our current Congress is a threat to civil liberties, and the Senate has been launching anti-expression policies - targeting the internet. Non-profit users/orgs may distribute unmodified versions of this text freely. Keep the pgp signature in tact so readers with pgp can validate its authenticity. Profit distributors- you better cut me in! : )


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